Opening Day-- Sox 7, Rangers 3
Overall, it was a very succesful Opening Day. I couldn't have asked for much more from Schilling. I've had a really nasty stomach virus since this morning though, so I'm going to have to cut the update short. I will add more analysis on the game after I stop throwing up every 20 minutes. I have to work until close to 2 a.m. with the Gators playing for the national title tonight. So pretty much today sucked and will continue to suck-- but at least my boys are back and they won! More on Opening Day later.
_______________________________
Instead of me updating about the first game of the season, I'm going to let Bill Simmons do it for me.
Here was our lineup, in the comical fashion that Simmons is the master of:
1. Coco Crisp, CF
2. Mark Loretta, 2B
3. The Real 2005 A.L. MVP, DH (HAH!)
4. Manny Being Manny, LF
5. Gerry McNamara, RF
6. Jason Varitek, C
7. Mike Lowell, RIP-er, 3B
8. Kevin Youkilis, 1B
9. The Alex Gonzalez Who Always Does Well In The Winter World Series, SS.
(P.S. How much does Trot Nixon look like Gerry McNamara? Why can't I come up with this stuff? How is it that Simmons comes up with all the witty stuff that is on the tip of every member of Red Sox Nation's pens?)
Great quote from the Boston Sports Guy: "There are about 7,000 reasons why I'm excited to have baseball back, but I think the chance to have David Ortiz back in my life on an everyday basis cracks the top 10. It might even rank first."
Thank God for David Ortiz, seriously. I love his big, gap-toothed smile.
"11:30 -- Our first glimpse of Manny Ramirez, who grew dreadlocks and bleached them gold for the 2006 season. I'm just glad that he didn't randomly decide to pierce his left eyeball or something. Manny grounds out to second, then jogs to the dugout with an "If I poop in the shower after the game, maybe they'll try harder to trade me" look on his face. Thirty cents on the dollar, here we come!"
(That was a gem. Thanks for putting Manny in his place, Bill.)
"1:33 -- Nix robs Trot Nixon of a double. He's on pace for 1,444 fantastic catches this season. Meanwhile, after 10 minutes of the ESPN guys discussing Clemens' possible return and the steroids scandal in lieu of the actual game, I contemplate switching back to Don and Jerry (HDTV be damned). Is this "Around the Horn" or a baseball game?"
(Reason No. 5,683 that I refuse to watch ESPN broadcast a baseball game. Thank God for MLB Extra Innings. Don Orsillo may be annoying as hell, but he's nowhere near as bad as Jon, Joe, Rick Sutcliffe, David Justice, John Kruk, Harold Reynolds... pretty much anyone who mentions baseball on ESPN).
"12:54 -- Hey, is it a bad sign for the Lowell Era that Texas' outfielders are moving up 10 steps for his ABs, almost like the token chick coming up during a company softball game? I say it is. He just flew out to left. More importantly, the top of the sixth just ended with a pitcher named Feldman striking out Youkilis. That's the Jewish baseball moment of the year so far.
1:00 -- Good Golly. Manny just chased down a Michael Young bomb, hauled it in and crashed into the fence, followed by Schilling accidentally making an "I can't believe that nimwit just saved my ass" face ... quickly followed by Manny sitting down Indian style and eating three handfuls of paste. OK, I made that last part up. But the rest happened."
(Simmons, you crack me up... cracking on Manny is way too easy though. Schilling's look really was priceless.)
"1:28 -- After a Trot Nixon single, Joaquin Benoit comes in for the beleagured Rangers bullpen. Have you noticed that "Joaquin" is the Latin version of Antoine? You can spell it Joaquin, Joaquim, Joaqim, Joakim ... when will someone break out the "Joa'quine" for hoops? However you spell it, he gets Texas out of the inning."
(Nice to see Simmons showing some love to UF's own Joakim Noah, but Joakim sounds nothing like Joaquín, and no self-respecting Spanish person spells Joaquín any different than Joaquín Benoit does).
"1:57 -- Pitching the eighth inning: One of the keys to a 95-win season (and both of my fantasy teams) ... young Jonathan Papelbon. And yes, I'm a believer. If there weren't 25,000 companies making baseball cards right now, I would even buy one of his rookie cards.
(Of course, he retires the side on 13 pitches. If you don't think he'll be closing for this team within five weeks, you're insane. Pick him up for your fantasy team. Do it. Trust me.)"
(I knew this months ago. Hence why all of my friends have Pap on their Fantasy Teams).
"2:16 -- With one out, Crisp robs Nix with a leaping grab at the warning track (not only was that catch a 9.9 out of 10, Damon wouldn't have come within five feet of that ball). That's followed by Barajas barely missing a homer down the left field line and eventually grounding out to end the game. Our final score: Sox 7, Rangers 3.
"Well, Keith Foulke, kind of a rough outing in the ninth," Orsillo tells us, guaranteeing himself the 2006 ESPY for "Understatement of the Year."
I can't even speak right now. Why throw Foulke out there? Why? Couldn't we enjoy one satisfying Opening Day win in peace? Now I'm going to spend the rest of the day worrying about this. Five-year grace period, five-year schmace period."
(So true. Foulke is toast and the season has barely started. Give me Papelbon now!)
_______________________________
Instead of me updating about the first game of the season, I'm going to let Bill Simmons do it for me.
Here was our lineup, in the comical fashion that Simmons is the master of:
1. Coco Crisp, CF
2. Mark Loretta, 2B
3. The Real 2005 A.L. MVP, DH (HAH!)
4. Manny Being Manny, LF
5. Gerry McNamara, RF
6. Jason Varitek, C
7. Mike Lowell, RIP-er, 3B
8. Kevin Youkilis, 1B
9. The Alex Gonzalez Who Always Does Well In The Winter World Series, SS.
(P.S. How much does Trot Nixon look like Gerry McNamara? Why can't I come up with this stuff? How is it that Simmons comes up with all the witty stuff that is on the tip of every member of Red Sox Nation's pens?)
Great quote from the Boston Sports Guy: "There are about 7,000 reasons why I'm excited to have baseball back, but I think the chance to have David Ortiz back in my life on an everyday basis cracks the top 10. It might even rank first."
Thank God for David Ortiz, seriously. I love his big, gap-toothed smile.
"11:30 -- Our first glimpse of Manny Ramirez, who grew dreadlocks and bleached them gold for the 2006 season. I'm just glad that he didn't randomly decide to pierce his left eyeball or something. Manny grounds out to second, then jogs to the dugout with an "If I poop in the shower after the game, maybe they'll try harder to trade me" look on his face. Thirty cents on the dollar, here we come!"
(That was a gem. Thanks for putting Manny in his place, Bill.)
"1:33 -- Nix robs Trot Nixon of a double. He's on pace for 1,444 fantastic catches this season. Meanwhile, after 10 minutes of the ESPN guys discussing Clemens' possible return and the steroids scandal in lieu of the actual game, I contemplate switching back to Don and Jerry (HDTV be damned). Is this "Around the Horn" or a baseball game?"
(Reason No. 5,683 that I refuse to watch ESPN broadcast a baseball game. Thank God for MLB Extra Innings. Don Orsillo may be annoying as hell, but he's nowhere near as bad as Jon, Joe, Rick Sutcliffe, David Justice, John Kruk, Harold Reynolds... pretty much anyone who mentions baseball on ESPN).
"12:54 -- Hey, is it a bad sign for the Lowell Era that Texas' outfielders are moving up 10 steps for his ABs, almost like the token chick coming up during a company softball game? I say it is. He just flew out to left. More importantly, the top of the sixth just ended with a pitcher named Feldman striking out Youkilis. That's the Jewish baseball moment of the year so far.
1:00 -- Good Golly. Manny just chased down a Michael Young bomb, hauled it in and crashed into the fence, followed by Schilling accidentally making an "I can't believe that nimwit just saved my ass" face ... quickly followed by Manny sitting down Indian style and eating three handfuls of paste. OK, I made that last part up. But the rest happened."
(Simmons, you crack me up... cracking on Manny is way too easy though. Schilling's look really was priceless.)
"1:28 -- After a Trot Nixon single, Joaquin Benoit comes in for the beleagured Rangers bullpen. Have you noticed that "Joaquin" is the Latin version of Antoine? You can spell it Joaquin, Joaquim, Joaqim, Joakim ... when will someone break out the "Joa'quine" for hoops? However you spell it, he gets Texas out of the inning."
(Nice to see Simmons showing some love to UF's own Joakim Noah, but Joakim sounds nothing like Joaquín, and no self-respecting Spanish person spells Joaquín any different than Joaquín Benoit does).
"1:57 -- Pitching the eighth inning: One of the keys to a 95-win season (and both of my fantasy teams) ... young Jonathan Papelbon. And yes, I'm a believer. If there weren't 25,000 companies making baseball cards right now, I would even buy one of his rookie cards.
(Of course, he retires the side on 13 pitches. If you don't think he'll be closing for this team within five weeks, you're insane. Pick him up for your fantasy team. Do it. Trust me.)"
(I knew this months ago. Hence why all of my friends have Pap on their Fantasy Teams).
"2:16 -- With one out, Crisp robs Nix with a leaping grab at the warning track (not only was that catch a 9.9 out of 10, Damon wouldn't have come within five feet of that ball). That's followed by Barajas barely missing a homer down the left field line and eventually grounding out to end the game. Our final score: Sox 7, Rangers 3.
"Well, Keith Foulke, kind of a rough outing in the ninth," Orsillo tells us, guaranteeing himself the 2006 ESPY for "Understatement of the Year."
I can't even speak right now. Why throw Foulke out there? Why? Couldn't we enjoy one satisfying Opening Day win in peace? Now I'm going to spend the rest of the day worrying about this. Five-year grace period, five-year schmace period."
(So true. Foulke is toast and the season has barely started. Give me Papelbon now!)
posted by Jennifer at 4:23 PM
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